April Fools in the press

Dodging the April Fools' Day stories and press releases has been a minefield today. Here are some of the highlights:

Gocompare.com's larger than life opera star Gio Compario is being linked with this year's Glastonbury Festival.

In recent years Glastonbury has played host to the likes of Shakin' Stevens, Rolf Harris and Dame Shirley Bassey, but this year it could be the turn of opera on the Pyramid Stage in the coveted Sunday afternoon slot. The rumours connecting Gio with the festival first appeared on YouTube and twitter on Tuesday 30th March.

Daily Express: The AA has chosen today to launch its rapid response service, which will see its patrols take to the skies with lightweight jetpacks to reach stranded motorists quicker.

Eye-catching new survey work suggests that there is an even greater link than was first thought between the geographical location of a pension policyholder and the income he or she can expect to receive in retirement.

"It's remarkable," said CRAP (Campaign for Retirement, Annuities and Pensions) spokesperson Charlie Mandew. "Wherever we have carried out this research, there appears to be a direct correlation between place names and the residents' views on the payouts they actually receive."

Daily Express (they clearly have no time for real news anymore): When it comes to saving money, the Queen is no fool.

Yesterday she took a budget easyJet flight – at a cost to the taxpayer of just £22.99. She had minimal security for the trip from Luton to Aberdeen – in time to play a joke on Prince Philip, perhaps, who is already at Balmoral for Easter.

The Guardian: In an audacious new election strategy, Labour is set to embrace Gordon Brown's reputation for anger and physical aggression, presenting the prime minister as a hard man, unafraid of confrontation, who is willing to take on David Cameron in "a bare-knuckle fistfight for the future of Britain".

Undoubtedly the funniest (well, it would be if the story wasn't so awful) article I've come across recently is this from The Times. The newspaper's Berlin correspondent has the most unfortunate name imaginable for this type of subject matter. I spat out half a cup of tea when I read the byline.