I went to Mumbai and this is what happened...

Day 1

When I woke up this morning I didn’t expect to be treated to a display from the Indian Army’s bomb disposal team. Then again, I didn’t actually sleep – I spent most of the evening sitting in extremely close proximity to a spellbound elderly Indian gentlemen; the object of his tactile awe being the mid-90s Casio watch around his wrist, or more specifically its relentlessly piercing beep. At this point I should mention that the pair of us were sitting down with a few hundred other people on a plane flying to Mumbai from London. He didn’t say a word to me during the eight hours, not even when I borrowed his pen to complete my landing slip. Now there’s a snippet of detail that will live in your memory forever.

I'm going to Cumbum

On Monday evening I’ll be embarking on a voyage of discovery, flying east from London to Mumbai. The plan was to explore the sights of one of the world’s most fascinating countries, but after a few minutes on Google Maps I thought it better to instead visit places with funny names. And I’m delighted to reveal my first two destinations: Cumbum and Wankaner. Don’t they sound devine?

 

 

A slightly cynical Sri Lanka travel guide

Lonely Planet named it the top country to visit in 2013, Rick Stein told us to "go there because the curries are so good, the beaches are so unspoiled and the countryside will charm you" and, much to my chagrin, Lorraine Pascale would be visiting at exactly the same time as me. If only I had known while I was there, sigh.

But Sri Lanka, despite being 'back on the map' following decades of civil war, is a country that continues to divide travellers' opinions. In February I spoke to Simon Calder, The Independent's travel editor, who claimed he "couldn't see anything much transformed". Meanwhile, former UN spokesman in Sri Lanka Gordon Weiss warned that the country is "sliding into tyranny", such is the power and ubiquitous presence of its controversial president, Mahinda Rajapaksa.

An Indian adventure: On holiday with my mum

Hello and welcome to my first and almost certainly last travel blog. The trouble with reading about other people's adventures is that, at best, it's terrifically boring or, at worst, you're reminded of how mundane your life is and quickly fill up with resentment for the person showing off about how tantalising the cuisine was, how the cabin was divine until the waves got a bit choppy between St Lucia and Martinique, or how the natives were surprisingly friendly and civilised despite not possessing a smoothie maker or knowing how to operate nail clippers.

This collective resentment builds and builds until the travel writer is scared away from the public domain and takes self-imposed exile in the relatively safe confines of Stockport, a tourist-free zone south of Manchester and unchartered territory for approximately 99.9 per cent of Britons.

Travel chaos blog #2: I've got a new daddy

Too much of my Christmas Eve was spent stuck in Swindon coach station, another depressingly non-descript transport hub full of frustrated festive travellers.

This time it was a coach gearbox to blame - naturally, I took the inconvenience on the chin and tried to get some shut-eye during the delay. Alas, some of my fellow passengers were far more vocal, with their immediate demand being a National Express-paid-for taxi to Cirencester.

Eurostar disruption: Chaos and Kebab Man in Calais

Cross-channel holidaymakers became condensation-inflicted refugees last weekend after the suspension of Eurostar services between London and Paris, and I was unfortunate enough to be one of them.

I wasn't among the sorry few to be stranded in the Channel Tunnel for 16 hours without heating, food or water - but I did, like thousands of others, try to get back to London by boarding a ferry in Calais.

Rushy Bay beach huts: Bryher, Isles of Scilly

Beach huts are fantastic. So fantastic, in fact, that I built half of this one a whole year ago - and it's still standing. 

Alas, mine is quite rudimentary.

Bryher Campsite

It's my first posting from work. I should be writing stories but my mind is elsewhere - having just got back from holiday, 'tis all I can think about.

Bryher Campsite was my destination, and this beach, Rushy Bay, is a few minutes walk from it.

Staycationing

This would have been quite the metaphor pre-credit crunch, but thanks to the ongoing "economic downturn" [shudder], the colours in this painting look that little bit brighter. 

Some six million Brits plan to holiday domestically this summer - with a further 14 million overseas visitors set to join them. Wonder if the apprentices/apprenti helped?