O2's Twitter team make people laugh

While O2's call centre staff were congratulating themselves on a day of no complaints on Wednesday - just why was no-one phoning? - the company's social media people were working overtime following its nationwide network outage.

With thousands of customers seething at having no signal for much of Wednesday and Thursday morning, it was the responsibility of the @O2 in the UK Twitter account to appease their anger.

A Twitter dream diary

Where in the world can you jump on a bus being driven by a green-haired lesbian, hang out of the window as it speeds round corners without risking serious injury or death, and set off an on-board smoke machine without having even paid for a ticket?

The answer, sadly, is nowhere, unless you happen to live in my head. Yes, I lived through the above scenario, albeit through the medium of dreamland. The lesbian was great fun, as it happens - she was on her final ever shift so we had an impromptu bus rave before calming down and marvelling at the redder-than-usual lunar eclipse. Luckily the other passengers didn't mind because there weren't any.