We're not bottom anymore

English tourists strike fear into thousands of Spanish, Italians and Greeks each year. Just look at them. No, not them - for all I know, they might be your parents. 'Them' - go on, use your imagination.

I bring good news fellow Englishmen and women. While the football shirts, tattoos and beer bellies are embarrassing for the rest of us, there is no longer any need to worry.
This is because our rivals across La Manche are officially the world's worst tourists.

Research carried out by TNS Infratest has revealed that French people on holiday are penny-pinching, abrupt and refuse to learn foreign languages.

While there may be the occasional bon oeuf, the French were ranked second-from-bottom in terms of overall attitude and politeness. 

Brits, on the other hand, made second spot on the list - mainly because we're so bloody polite.

Maybe the researchers didn't take into account the Magalufs, Cala en Forcats and Benidorms of this world. 

But we beat the French. Just this once. Next time I head to Paris to visit Florian-the-banker I'll be able to salvage an iota of national pride with this little nugget of a survey.
Apportez-le dessus!