We're not bottom anymore

English tourists strike fear into thousands of Spanish, Italians and Greeks each year. Just look at them. No, not them - for all I know, they might be your parents. 'Them' - go on, use your imagination.

I bring good news fellow Englishmen and women. While the football shirts, tattoos and beer bellies are embarrassing for the rest of us, there is no longer any need to worry.
This is because our rivals across La Manche are officially the world's worst tourists.