The world's greatest ever footballing comeback

I'm usually hesitant to start a football-related blog because the beautiful game is the most over-analysed topic on the planet. And, what with my proud heritage, I'm only ever going to write about Cheltenham Town FC.

Though it pains me to say it, the Robins' performances aren't exactly going to inspire the masses into a considered online debate given the team's lowly Football League position - not to mention that most CTFC fans can't read or write and can only drive a tractor. But that don't really matter 'cos they all come from Cheltenhamshire.

London iPod

This is a London iPod - yes, ha ha, a London Eye pod. Ha ha ha. A word of warning - don't call them 'pods' in earshot of the big wheel's staff. They get very offended because they're not pods at all, they're 'capsules'. I made this mistake and tried to laugh it off with an employee but she wasn't having any of it.

After finally forgiving me, she whispered a couple more London Eye-related facts. Did you know, for example, it can be sped up ever so slightly on busy days? And that staff at Merlin Entertainments, the company that manages the London Eye, refer to it as the 'cash cow'? A testament to the wheel's success, perhaps, but can't they knock down the prices a little bit?

February's quote of the month

It was difficult to look past Peter Kay's "what a nobhead" swipe at Liam Gallagher or Charlie Brooker's take on the iPad, but I decided to settle on something a little more heartfelt.


[Incidentally, how do you spell 'nobhead'? This is what most people seem to go with, but the Metro and Yahoo reckon it's 'knobhead'. Some mavericks insert a space between 'nob' or 'knob' and 'head'. I've always assumed 'nob' is penis and 'knob' is strictly left to doors, but who am I to argue one way or the other?]

Vance Miller: A lesson in defence, Scientology style

Selling dodgy kitchens and Scientology are as unrelated as a bottle of Fairy washing up liquid and a Blue-footed Booby.

At least they were until tonight, when Vance Miller, boss of forever-changing-its-name company Maple Industries, had the opportunity to defend his tarnished reputation on BBC1's Rogue Traders.

A feline fable

I've just finished reading a rather good book - Suketu Mehta's Maximum City: Bombay Lost And Found. In it, he refers to this parable told to him by a Gujarati doctor:

"A long time ago, a man was conducting a wedding. A cat was running around the marriage hall, disturbing things. So he tied it to a pillar. Afterwards, generations of the man's family, whenever they had a wedding, found a cat and tied it to one pillar of the hall, believing it to be a required wedding custom."

David Cameron: The all-new 'ministering angel'

Florence Nightingale, the English nurse made famous for her work in the Crimean War, is widely referred to as the Lady with the Lamp. To readers of the Times, however, she was known as the "ministering angel".

"Her slender form glides quietly along each corridor, every poor fellow's face softens with gratitude at the sight of her," the newspaper's Crimean War correspondent said at the time.

Football Focus puts the cunt in Scunthorpe

The BBC's Football Focus must have been rubbing its hands with glee ahead of today's show. Arguably the smallest team in the Championship, Scunthorpe United, will tackle the silky majesty of Roberto Mancini and his Manchester City team tomorrow in the fourth round of the FA Cup.

Ex Bangor City manager-turned-physio-turned-manager-again Nigel Adkins will lock horns with his more illustrious Italian counterpart in a David vs Goliath clash, blah blah isn't the FA Cup romantic blah blah.

January's quote of the month

"I was delighted to learn that in Britain today more people are employed in Indian restaurants than in your coal, steel and shipbuilding industries combined. So the empire can strike back."

William Hill snowballs to moral bankruptcy

The white stuff has been falling like snowbody's business, and much merriment it has brought to the little island we inhabit.

Scanning the letters page of my local newspaper, I have been reminded to consider the effects of snow and ice on the elderly and disabled as they go about their daily business - and granted, it must be pretty bloody inconvenient.

Travel chaos blog #2: I've got a new daddy

Too much of my Christmas Eve was spent stuck in Swindon coach station, another depressingly non-descript transport hub full of frustrated festive travellers.

This time it was a coach gearbox to blame - naturally, I took the inconvenience on the chin and tried to get some shut-eye during the delay. Alas, some of my fellow passengers were far more vocal, with their immediate demand being a National Express-paid-for taxi to Cirencester.